free_form2 New Year's Resolution
Victoria had been cast emotionally adrift for some time now.

When still human, thoughts of vampirism pervaded her waking life, infusing her with all manner of thoughts and fantasies. She had written out stories, some unfinished, others not so, but too much of a perfectionist to take them to an actual publisher. Even as time moved on, going from school to the life of a young adult and the very monotony such exotic thoughts would increasingly rescue her from, she never gave up all hope, not completely. Realised, as ever, that it seemed quite unlikely, but still... What if?

Then came Deanna. A redhead who seemed, at once, both all-knowing and yet intrigued by her. The woman exuded confidence. Someone who knew what she wanted, took it and evidently had more than enough resources to make it happen. To Victoria, that was sexy. That she found her thoughts and ideas compelling, wanting to listen to them, only lured the brunette closer. Deanna's company was perhaps the one highlight Vicky ahd to look forward to, during those dreary, undwhelmingly superficial nights, working at the bar. Oh, it was vampire-themed and the staff were given little sets of plastic fangs to wear, but she just found it so damned tacky.

As did Deanna, apparently. The conversations on the topic becoming more and more in-depth, over successive nights.

It was even something which gave Victoria a focus in life. Now she wanted to go to work. Wanted to show up there. Wanted to see her friend; someone who gave a damn and not just gave the pretence of listening, but actively did so. Then came the offer of a night out, just the two of them, to which poor Vicky had to decline, due to a cold. Something which, in retrospect, she since discovered prevented her from gaining fangs at a younger age, back in Sunnydale.

But then it happened... That one, beautiful, sensual night, when Deanna became teacher in so very many ways. Not the first female she had been intimate with, for there was one other, but that was fleeting and refreshingly casual. What they had, quite literally, was eternal.

Or meant to be.

Victoria became the student Deanna had always wanted. Someone dutiful, thankful for their fangs and never wasting an opportunity to learn from her. Someone who, Victoria had now come to learn, in some ways filed the void left by another called Celine.

Then came Mallory and, no matter how many ways she tried to analytically twist and turn it, Victoria could never understand why she had felt such an electric attraction towards the girl. Had she still been human, then the age different would be more prominent, but that seemed to matter not. It took time, energy and a good deal of heartbreak before they got to where they were now.

And where was she now? What was Victoria Foxworth doing with her existence, with one dream attained and the other now having blossomed?

Deanna had cast her aside. Victoria had made sure to drink as deeply as she could, when it came time for her change. Quite whether that made any difference or not, she had no idea, but the bond was close and the feeling of outright bitterness and hurt from Deanna, resounded in Victoria's heart, even now. Mallory, too, had seemingly pushed her away, at least from the brunette's point of view. Still was in love with her, or so the redhead claimed, but appeared incapable of wishing to be with others.

Victoria had relented... She could revert to what she had with Deanna, right? Could play with others, so long as the romance was theirs and theirs alone. She could do it.

Or maybe, the vampiress now feared, only Mallory could. Her friend, Star, was right. She should never have even considered the offer, but that was Victoria Foxworth, through and through - ever the compromiser, ever the one willing to try and find a balance. She so very rarely put her foot down, never seemed to proclaim to the world, "I want!"

No, that was wrong... Victoria would not say that. Too selfish a phrase. But she could say, "I deserve."

Could and would.

Mallory had been unwilling to accept the alternative: Moving somewhere else. Letting Victoria lavish her reserved fortunes on the girl. At the time, allowing Mallory to express her libido through more than one partner had seemed like a necessary evil. As of now, however, Victoria could only derive one, very obvious and swift conclusion from the whole affair.

That she did, indeed, deserve better.

Fine... If Mallory wanted to play the field, then so be it. From now on, decided Victoria, she would be the vampire she had always intended to be. The person who, after putting on costume in her beloved Fang Noir, had felt like an Empress. Someone powerful. Someone who would not deny herself pleasures. Someone who would give, perhaps take on an eternal student of her own and never, not even once let herself become obsessed with the material world.

If Mallory wished to be part-time, then so be it, the vampiress resolved. No longer would she close herself off and resist temptations offered. She would be someone the redhead would either wish to be devoted to or not at all.

Fuck it. She would be a Queen. She could be a Queen.

She could have it all.

Independence, thought Victoria, here I come.

And now that she was trying to embrace it on the inside, as well as out, it was starting to feel good. Perhaps a fleeting moment, perhaps not. What mattered was that she was going to capitalise on this opportunity, not constantly mourn for it having eluded her.

Stop the world, she wants to get on.