InsaneJournal

Current mood:

determined

city_limits Dear Journal...
Hey, journal.

So, two (no, make that three) weird developments:

(1) Not only my film, but the characters me and Star portrayed apparently got equated to... You know what. Now, it might have been one of the reasons which compelled me to finally do something like that, but, really!

Yes, it's still playing on my mind.

Anyway, my li'l turn-let's really come into her own, just as I always thought she would. In fact, she's doing an awful lot better than me, career-wise, but... Most of our kind don't even have careers, you know? Not anything really artistic, anyway. Nevertheless, Bethany's determined to have me turn into a kind of fangy Doctor Ruth. I'm not sure that I should, though, because you just know I'd end up eating my own customer base.

(2) Hannah.

Ah, little Hannah... I remember her. We didn't have, like, a massively epic friendship, but she was there when I met Mallory and we certainly had some fun times together.

However, she also died and somehow got resurrected. Not heralded by the accompanying sounds of ancient native American tribal chants and gathering throngs of occult worshippers, but a telephone text.

Somehow, that suits her.

I have absolutely no idea what to think about this, aside from the fact she's still somehow a waitress and what this could mean for the ethical metaphysics of reincarnation. I'll have to gather my nerve and find her, that's all. Maybe I could give her an entire chapter in my book.

(3) Deanna left me a message. Yeah, um-hmm, just like that. No, "Oh, hey, Vicky! How's your book going?" Or, "I was speaking to Star and increasing the cohesion of our family unit and she mentioned you." Or, "I miss you, love of my unlife! Thanks for the new year present, I can tell it was expensive!"

No, I'm apparently meant to uproot myself from Chicago, journey way over to New York and... Do something? I guess?

Because, apparently, I'm her bitch. And, apparently, every time she does this, I just go and prove it. And, apparently, I've only got myself to blame, when it comes right down to it.

Well! Maybe I won't! Maybe I should just stay right here and tell her to come to me! Maybe I'll just send her, like, a lump of old coal in a sock or something, in my stead and see how she likes that!

Except then I'd fret about it and get paranoid I'm going to turn into one of those vampires whose maker abandoned them and... Well, get as self-conscious about my ability to keep my nearest and dearest close, as Deanna is about the dimensions of her ass.

So, you know what? I'm meant to be her cherished little blood-muffin! I'm the film director and star! I'm the one who deserves some words of appreciation, every now and then! And now, I'm the one who's going to put her foot down!

Until the inevitable moment when I'll cave into whatever demands she makes...

But I have resolve of steel! I do! I'll use it! She'll see!